Happy Birthday Ian!

My beautiful, kind, strong, brave and above all loyal sister, Abbey, has a friend who is truly struggling today and everyday. Today is her friends boyfriend's birthday. Today, Ian is 25 and I wanted to wish him a happy birthday. Now, most of you are wondering "why" why is this a difficult day for her? Today, like everyday she grieves for Ian because he lost his battle with cancer in January. Today, she is reminded more than ever, that the person she loved more than anything was taken from her before the age of 25. An age where they should have been beginning their lives together. While, I have never met Abbey's friend, I have been told so much about her and am truly amazed by this young woman's strength, courage and love for her Ian. In my opinion, Ian was more than a boyfriend they were like husband and wife. She cared and love this young man like a wife would do for her husband or her children. She spent endless hours helping him, being his strength, making him laugh, giving him the love and support he needed throughout his entire last battle. I often find myself thinking about her and I just wanted her to know how much I admire her strength at such a young age. I don't know many people her age that would so unselfishly put someone above all of their own needs but I do know that Ian was so blessed to have had her in his life. I hope this does not come across to Abbey's friend as arrogance or me assuming I know how she feels because that is by no means my intention. I can never assume to truly know or understand all that she has endured or is enduring just as no one can ever assume to know what I myself am enduring. I do know that grief, anger and sadness over those we have lost is the same in the fact that we just want them back even if it is for just one more minute. We just want to tell them one last time that we love them and to be able to kiss them and hug them. We just want to rid ourselves of any last regrets we didn't do while they were alive.

So, I say to you all don't compare grief, because the loss of child, a sister to breast cancer, a mother who was in poor health, a spouse taken too young or a friend with a terminal illness are all tragedies in their own rights. Don't live life always wishing that you would have done things differently. Love the people that are right in front of you even when they done something that has hurt you, don't take for granted that there will be another day.

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance." (Eccl 3:1-4) God never promised us that life would be easy or that we would be spared from pain instead he gave us the ability to make choices. Sometimes the choices are unfortuantely made for us by him, but more often than not, we are allowed to make our own choices in how we live our lives. So, today, I ask that you make the choice to celebrate life and say a prayer to help Abbey's friend find some comfort in what the day brings.Today, I hope that Abbey's friend can find some comfort in her friends and family. I hope that she will laugh and cry tears of joy as she hears or tells stories of Ian. I hope she will dance and celebrate his life and what he meant to her. Today, I hope she finds peace and love as she remembers all that she meant to him.

Happy Birthday, Ian...