Painting

As I sit here thinking about Declan and Lucas, I stare at the painting I made to remember them. I made it child like so that it would be a picture that everyone that saw it could understand the innocence of children but at the same time not feel uncomfortable looking at it. I love seeing their actual footprints pushed into the clouds as a reminder for me to look up into the sky and see them. I love to go up to the painting and run my fingers over their prints and feel the texture of the paint on my skin. I wouldn't say that it is a master piece or even a high quality painting but that is okay because it is a painting of pure love and emotion. I remember working on it one night when Kevin was gone and my tears just kept dropping on to the canvas and I would just mix them into the paint. I see all the imperfections of this painting and I think about how those imperfections mirror the imperfections of life. This painting is not smooth, it is rough and bumpy just like life. As I sit here and tears flow today, I am attempting to push myself over those rough spots and those bumps that seem like mountains. I am asking god to please help me understand this rough and bumpy path he has put me on. To please show me or at least help me to understand the purpose of this path without my sons.