Wondering...

I have so many questions about god right now. I was raised Catholic but don't consider myself to be a follower of the Catholic religion. I have always had a strong faith or belief in god and heaven, I guess I figured why not believe that there is a place where there is not pain, suffering or tragedy like the world we live in. I thought that if I prayed and attempted to be a good person then good things would happen to me. I guess I thought, if I showed god that I didn't take all the wonderful things in life that he gave me for granted, then I would be blessed with more happiness. I never imagined that he would take my children from me, I feel like I am being punished for some sin that I have committed? I read other blogs and I am at times at a loss for words because these woman and their families have had such terrible family losses yet they are still strong in their faith and their devotion to god. I don't understand how they can have this faith...I understand that they question it at times but for the most part that unwaivering faith in gods will is there. If god is this gracious wonderful being, why does he take the ones that we love from us? Why does he give children to families who don't want them or abuse them? What is the purpose of granting us only a few short days with our kids to take them so quickly from us, why not take them earlier or never allow us to have them? Please understand I am so grateful and would not trade those few days that I had with my sons but I still question...what was the reasoning of only granting me with their love for just those few short days? If anyone, can help me with ideas or views on god, faith, religion...it doesn't matter to me what religion you are, I just want to find some peace in understanding why this happened.